South Park UK Episode Guide
This is a very cool South Park episode guide. It is fully complete but if there are any errors please E-mail me!. Just click on an episode in the list and you will jump to it further down the page. Also if anyone has any appropriate pictures for the episodes that I don't have pictures for, please contact me.
Season 1
01 CARTMAN GETS AN ANAL PROBE
02 WEIGHT GAIN 4000
03 VOLCANO
04 BIG GAY AL'S BIG GAY BOAT RIDE
05 AN ELEPHANT MAKES LOVE TO A PIG
06 DEATH
07 PINKEYE
08 DAMIEN
09 STARVIN' MARVIN
10 MR. HANKEY
11 TOM'S RHINOPLASTY
12 MECHA STREISAND
13 CARTMAN'S MOM IS A DIRTY SLUT
Season 2
01 NOT WITHOUT MY ANUS
02 CARTMAN'S MOM IS STILL A DIRTY SLUT
03 CHICKENLOVER
04 IKE'S WEE-WEE
05 CONJOINED FOETUS LADY
06 THE MEXICAN STARING FROG OF SOUTHERN SRI LANKA
07 CITY ON THE EDGE OF FOREVER
08 SUMMER SUCKS
09 CHEF'S SALTY CHOCOLATE BALLS
10 CHICKENPOX
11 ROBERT EGBERT SHOULD LAY OFF THE FATTY FOODS
12 CLUBHOUSES
13 COW DAYS
14 CHEF AID
15 SPOOKYFISH
16 CHARLIE MANSON
17 GNOMES
18 PREHISTORIC ICEMAN
Cartman was abducted by aliens and they put something up his ass, but he thinks that it was all just a dream. Then on the school bus, Kyle and Stan see Kyle's brother, Ike, being taken away by aliens. They have to get out of school and then get Ike back before Kyle's parents find out.
Cathy Lee Gifford is coming to South Park to present Cartman with an award for an essay he wrote. Of course he cheated, but he wants to shape up for the big day. He takes Weight Gain 4000, but unfortunately the effect is bad. Mr. Garrison doesn't like her, and Mr. Hat tells him to murder her.
Stan's uncle Jimbo, and his old war buddy Ned, take the four boys on a hunting trip up into the mountains. Stan is very sensitive and can't bring himself to shoot anything, so Jimbo takes a liking to Kenny because he is a master shot with a machine gun. Scuzzlebutt also shows up, and saves their lives from lava when the volvcano erupts. Then, while on national tv, Stan shoots Scuzzlebutt.
Big Gay Al's Big gay boat ride
South Park are playing the Middle Park Cowboys in an american football match. Everybody has bets on South Park to beat the spread (to not lose by more than 70 points). But the team's star quarterback, Stan, is having problems about the sexuality of his dog, Sparky, and might not play. He thinks Sparky is gay. So he goes to Big Gay Al's Big Gay Animal Sanctuary and finds that lots of gay animals take refuge there.
An Elephant Makes love to a Pig
Kyle gets an elephant, but it is too big for him. Cartman says that he has a small pot-bellied pig called Fluffy. Cartman is very protective, but the kids go ahead and try to get them to mate. Mehpisto is trying a new genetic experiment, but it goes wrong, and produces Stan's evil clone. Shelly, Stan's sister, is beating him up because she is upset with her new braces.
Stan's Grandpa is celebrating his 102nd birthday, but just wants to die. He says living is hell. He keeps asking Stan to kill him, but he refuses to do it. But Stan's friends don't mind helping the old man to die. Everyone that they ask if it is okay to kill there Grandpa, and they say they won't even touch the subject. They try to drop a cow on him, but that fails, and soon Death himself appears, but who exactly is he after? Kyle's mom is being her usual bitch self as she gets Terrance & Phillip taken off the air with a big protest.
At the very beginning, the Mir Space Station falls on Kenny, and he's taken to the morgue. Soon, most of South Park is suffering from Pinkeye. The Chef and the kids try to do something about it, which leads them back to the morgue. There they find the answer, and also a copy of Crack Whore magazine. Anf wahey, Cartman's mom IS on the cover. They find out how to get rid of the Pinkeye, and that is to kill the originator. And that just happens to be Kenny...
A new kid in the school proclaims himself to be Damien, the son of The Prince Of Darkness, but he isn't popular with the other kids. Satan, his dad, challenges Jesus to a boxing match. Everyone bets that Satan will completely kill Jesus, being some 500lbs heavier. Unforunately for Cartman, the pay-per-view is on his birthday, and Damien blows up Pip.
The four boys decide to sponser an ethniopian, so they can get a free sports watch after the advert on tv.. However, the ethniopian arrives instead of the watch that they wanted. They name him Starvin' Marvin and bring him to school. It's thanksgiving, and food is given out to the poor like Kenny's family. Lots of genetic turkeys come and tear South Park to shreds. Their is a huge "Braveheart" battle. Then the authorities come to take Starvin' Marvin away and give Cartman the sports watch, but by mistake they take Cartman back with them. He nearly dies of starvation there until he finds a big cabin full of cheesy-poofs where the fat tv presenter is hiding.
It's Christmas in South Park. But Kyle's Jewish mother complains about the fact that the nativaty play is very christianity-themed. Through her protests, the whole town is forced into haveing a religion-free christmas. Which basically means in the end that the play has nothing to do with Christmas at all. Meanwhile, Kyle is committed to a mental institution because he keeps talking to a piece of shit which he calls Mr. Hankey, which he says appears and talks to him. Christmas also means good times for Kenny, why? Because the lucky blighter DOESN'T DIE!
Mr. Garrison gives up teaching to accomplish what he always wanted to do. - "Hang around and screw hot chicks." He gets a nose job and the ladies practically fall all over him. Meanwhile, the class has a new teacher, Ms. Ellen. Her relationship is instantly good with the four kids, because they all fancy her. This makes Wendy very unhappy, and she sets out to do something about it.
Whilst on an archaeology trip, Cartman finds a weird triangle-stone-type-thing and throws it away. Kyle picks it up and keeps it. Little do they know that the stone has magic powers and that Barbara Streisand has been looking for that stone for years. When they do find out though, Cartman wants the stone back from Kyle. Barbara Streisand sees them on the news and sets out to get the stone from them,because then she can take over the world, which was her secret dream. Thankfully, Robert Smith of The Cure is ready to save South Park.
Cartman gets curious over the identity of his father and sets out to find him. His mother can only remember getting drunk one night at a barn dance and getting together with a native indian. But the indian tells Cartman that his mother then went off with someone else. Eventually he gets to Chef, and thinks he is a west-side hippie. It seems that just about everyone screwed his mom, INCLUDING the Dallas Cowboys. And so Cartman decides to get a DNA test done to find out who his father is. He gets the money for the test from his friends who sent in a video to a television programme of Cartman talking to little dolls at a tea-party in his back garden. Amazingly, Stan's Grandpa videotaped the train killing Kenny, and sent it in. He won first prize.
This show does not contain the kids, and centers wholly around Terrance & Phillip. First Terrance survives a murder charge, and then someone that hates them, Scott, hatches a plan to get rid of them once and for all. He makes a deal with Sadam Hussein to kill them, in exchange for smuggling him into Canada. However, after Sadam gets in, he doesn't keep his side of the bargain and kill Terrance & Phillip. He secretly starts to take over Canada, but Terrance & Phillip save the day.
Cartman's Mum is Still a Dirty Slut
Cartman is about to find out the identity of his dad, but the lights go out and Mephisto is shot. Chef drives him to the hospital and Dr. Doctor trys to save him. Meanwhile, the filming crew for "America's Most Wanted" arrive in South Park to record an episode about the shooting. There is a power cut in the hospital, so Kenny has to go and fix the backup power generator.
Someone is going around South Park and f**king all of the chickens, hence the title of this episode. Officer Barbrady reveals that he is illiterate and resigns, and so crime in South Park hits an all time high. He goes back to school and the boys become stand ins for Officer Barbrady, and Cartman knows how to enforce the law! They help him to find the Chickenf**ker.
Mr. Mackey gets fired for passing marijuana around the class. He then starts taking drugs himself and becomes a hippy. Kyle finds out that his brother Ike is having a bris. He and the others try to rescue Ike, so he sends him on a train to Nebraska. Mr. Mackey goes into rehab, and Ike is found safely.
Klye gets injured playing dodgeball, and has to go and see the school nurse. He finds out that she has a dead foetus on the side of her head. The mayor decides to have a special week devoted to those with conjoined foetuses, and Chef takes the school dodgeball team to the world championships where they have to face China in the finals.
The Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka
Jimbo and Ned are suddenly really happy when their tv ratings go through the roof. (around 20 viewers) It is because they are showing new pictures of the Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka, which is a frog and when you look at it you go catatonic and it turns you into stone. As a result, Jesus & Pals revamps their show to capture viewers back, and turns into something more reminisent of the Jerry Springer Show. It turns out that the frog was a fake and the four boys sent in the videos as revenge for when Jimbo and Ned lied to them about their time in Vietnam, which the kids had had to write a school report about, and they got given a detention for lying.
The children are going on a school trip, but the bus unfortunately gets stranded on the very edge of a cliff, and they cannot get out or a big black monster will eat them. The have flashbacks of old good times, but for some reason they all end with them eating ice cream. Mrs Crabtree left to get help, but actually became a stand-up comedian. Something that must not go without a mention was where a small Star Trek Kid got out of the bus, saying it was save. The big monster ate him and then he smashed back onto the grass of the bus windows. Very gruesome.
Even though it's Summer and July 4th, fireworks have been banned for that year. So Ned and Jimbo head off to Mexico to get some. Meanwhile, Mr. Garrison loses Mr. Hat, and goes a bit mad. A psychiatrist says that Mr. Hat was gay, and Ned and Jimbo get caught and put in prison. The Mayor buys a giant firework for the celebration instead, but the formula was wrong so instead of getting bigger for about ten minutes, it would have got bigger for about 10,000 years!
Hollywood comes to South Park as a film festival hits town, which makes the mayor very happy because of all the publicity. All the class have to go and see a film, which Cartman says will be boring and about gay cowboys. Mr. Hankey comes and tells everyone to stop and go home, because all of the weird food the Hollywood people eat clogs up the sewers so he can't live in them.
Kenny gets taken down with Chicken Pox, and Stan, Kyle and Cartman's parents decide that it would be best for their kids to get it when they are young, and so send them over to Kenny's house for a sleep over. The kids find out that their parents purposely inflicted it on them, so they pay Old Freda, a prostitute, $5 to go and brush her teeth with their parents toothbrushes. This is meant to give them all herpes. Kyle and Kenny's dads used to be best friends, so Kyle's mom organises a fishing trip for the two of them. Things don't go well though, because Kyle's dad is a rich lawyer and Kenny's dad is an alcoholic!
Robert Egbert should lay off the Fatty Foods
The class goes on a trip to the Planetarium, and they really like it but don't know why, and they want to go back again. Cartman enters a competition to appear on the Cheesy Poofs advert, by singing the Cheesy Poofs song. He is really chuffed when he appears in the ad for a split second saying one word. It turns out that the astronomer is doing evil mind-control experiments so that people will want to return to the Planetarium again and again, and he turns Officer Barbrady into an Elvis wannabe. Mr. Mackey finds out and tries to rescue everyone.
Wendy tells Stan to build a Clubhouse, so that Wendy, Stan, Kyle, and Bebe can play truth or dare with each other. Bebe fancies Kyle and thinks he has a great ass! Kyle doesn't like girls and really doesn't like Bebe, but goes along with it anyway. Him and Stan set out on building the clubhouse, using wood and a hammer. (But with no nails!) Cartman is jealous so he gets Kenny to help him build his own clubhouse. Kenny is the worker because he's poor and Cartman appoints himself the foreman! Kyle ends up kissing Bebe, but Stan doesn't get the dare he wanted! Sone girls go to Cartman's clubhouse, and a party is started up there. Stan's dad is at the party, because him and Stan's mom split up, and Stan's mom finds a new lover, Roy.
Tom and Mary win a trip to South Park for the 14th Annual Cow Days festival, but they realise that it's not very good. The boys try to win some Terrance & Phillip dolls from a stall, but the cows lay worship to a huge big cow statue that they bring into the field. When they win them, they realise that they are fake rip-offs. When the police find them and try to get it back, they opt for mass suicide. Cartman thinks that he is a Vietnamese prostitute called Ming Li, but wins the bull riding contest.
Chef gets sued over a song called Stinky Britches, because he allegedly copied the song off of Alanis Morissette. Famous musicians such as Meat Loaf and
In this episode things turn weird in South Park, (like it's not weird already?) and Stan gets a goldfish for a pet. However, this is no ordinary fish, and it's a murderer with a soon ever growing hit list. The boys find out that they have "evil" twins from a parrallel universe, and they discover that they are the opposite of themselves in personality wise. So "evil" Cartman is actually a very nice guy!
Unfortunately for Kyle, Stan, and Kenny, they have to go and spend Christmas with Cartman and his family. Charlie Manson busts out of jail with one of Cartman's relatives, and they soon become friends. The kids find out that Charlie Manson is actually a serial killer, but they have fun with him all the same.
This is a good episode and it's quite funny, definately one of the best of the lot. The kids meet Tweek, a child in their class because they have to do a report and they get grouped with him. He shakes constantly and find out he has a weird disorder called ADD. They learn the economical values of big companies taking over small businesses and choking them out, and they also meet a weird group of gnomes that steal underpants.
Another good episode, this could be the last episode for some time. After Kyle falls in a pit and Stan goes down to help him, they find a man encased in ice and they fight over who discovered him. They haul him up and out of the pit and take him to Mephisto. After much deliberation, Mephisto decides that the man dates all the way back to 1996, and they put him into an exhibition and force him to listen Ace of Base music, because they are trying to recreate times from his era.
